Beard Slap!

This is probably the funniest thing I’ve ever found on the internet.


Beard Slap

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How to Trim a Beard

March 24, 2012 1 comment

Hello my fellow bearded folk.

Today, more than usual, I was told to “trim your beard so girls will fuck you.” Inappropriate, yes, but the message is clear: a fashionable, clean looking beard is an attractive accent on a man.

I could write a page and a half worth of instructions describing where to put your clippers to where to place your razor on your cheek, but I wont.

Instead, Scott Harris of does a lovely job of demonstrating so you can follow along.

Tha Bearded Blogger

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The Million Mustache March

Tie your walking shoes and grab your mustache wax, my bearded brethren, because there is another march to be trekked, this time in Washington D.C.  The Million Mustache March, organized by the American Mustache Institute (AMI), is a walk from the U.S. Capitol Building to the White House to help raise support for the Stimulus to Allow Critical Hair Expenses, or “The Stache Act.”  If passed, The Stache Act will provide a $250 tax deduction to those who are committed to growing and maintaining presentable facial hair.  The march is scheduled for April 1st, 2012.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “this is just an elaborate April Fool’s day prank,” but there is much more to it than that.  To prove they are serious, the AMI has gained support from H&R Block, who has agreed to donate to a cause called Millions From One, an organization devoted to providing clean drinking water to those who are unable to find it for themselves.  This donation, according to the H&R Block official Facebook page, will be on behalf of those who are supporting the Stache Act by signing the petition and/or marching on April 1st.

Before you write this off as another silly publicity stunt, take a look at the celebrated white paper off which The Stache Act is based called “Mustached Americans And The Triple Bottom Line,” downloadable on the AMI website.  The paper, written by Dr. John Yeutter, Ph.D., CFP, and Associate Professor of Accounting and Tax Policy at Northeastern State University, explains how mustache growth on the part of “Mustached Americans” is beneficial to American society, the environment, and the U.S. economy.  Perhaps the most interesting statistic, found in a recent study conducted by Dr. Menjou-­‐Bartchen is the difference in income between clean shaven and mustached men.  The paper cites the study by saying “Mustached Americans earn 4.3 percent more than their clean-­shaven counterparts.”  The study concludes that households with clean-shaven men earn $63,507 a year, while households with mustached men earn an average of $2,730 more, or $66,237.  Assuming a federal tax rate of 25%, the Mustached American pays an average of $675 more per year in taxes.

So what are these subsidies meant to be used for? Mustache maintenance materials of course!  Dr. Yeutter estimates that a man with a well groomed mustache spends nearly 10% of his disposable income on grooming toiletries.  In his paper, Yeutter claims, “in order to maintain the power of income production, mustaches must be carefully maintained and groomed.”  He then goes on to list a number of things that the tax deduction can be used to purchase such as mustache and beard trimming instruments, wax and weightless conditioning agents, combs and mirrors, bacon, and wallet-sized photos of Burt Reynolds.

If you are interested in contributing to the Million Mustache March or supporting The Stache Act, look into marching on April 1st or look for merchandise on the AMI website or a simple Google search for Million Mustache March Merchandise.

I hope to see you all in Washington D.C.

Tha Bearded Blogger

Mustache March Raises $1000 for American Stroke Association

As the MC blasted music behind the Rowan Student Center, nearly one hundred people poured into the patio area adorned in mustache T-shirts and mustaches both real and fake.  Thursday, March 1st at 5:00 PM, the Rowan Prof, also sporting a new mustache, led this crowd on a one-mile march through Rowan’s campus.  Along the way, signs with stroke information lined the marching path through campus, helping those participating to better understand the risk of stroke.

            The Mustache March was actually started to raise awareness and money for The American Stroke Association. Constantine Alexakos, Assistant Director of Rowan Student Activities and founder of Rowan’s Mustache March, recalls the moment when he first had the idea:

            “I was down in Breckenridge like six years ago snowboarding and we were downtown in the town center and there was a whole group of people with mustaches, guys and girls, and they were all down there for this mustache march to raise money for a charity.  Me, being in the position that I’m in, I said ‘that’s a great event and it would go well at Rowan,’ and for six years or so I’ve been trying to get it started at Rowan.”

            Now six years later, his idea has finally come to be as 2012 marks the first ever Mustache March at Rowan University.  The trail of followers behind the prof and the Mustache March banner was over 200 feet at some points, and the march ended up raising nearly $1,000 for the American Stroke Association. 

            However, it wasn’t until the Mustache Mingle that everyone got to show off their mustaches.  The Student Center Pit was decked out with a stage and a screen showing mustache trivia questions that people could answer for a chance to win prizes.  Then there was a booth set up with mustache-friendly foods such as cookies shaped like mustaches, a cake, milk, and hot cocoa with whipped cream.  It wasn’t long before everyone was rocking a milk mustache.  Once everyone was fed and trivia was finished, the mustache contests ensued.

First was the fake mustache contest judged by Stephanie Ackerman, Rowan SGA President, Kelvin Rodriguez, Coordinator for Greek Affairs, and Brett J. Hopkins, Mustache Enthusiast.  This was an opportunity for the ladies in the crowd to show off their new, colorful mustaches.

            Then it was time for the real mustache contest.  This is where the serious competition started.  One contestant, in a pre-contest interview, said, “I will bring the pain!”  He went on to take second behind Brian Steltzor, who was sporting a pair of blonde handlebars. 

            After all was said and done, the MC for the night, Jose M. Batista, was excited about hosting the event next year and for years to come.

He said, “to be totally honest, I wasn’t expecting a whole lot of people to show up so I wasn’t really considering much of a future for it, but now that it was such a hit and we raised so much money I can’t wait for next year’s Mustache March.”

Mustache March Photo Log

March 8, 2012 2 comments

March 1st marked the very first Mustache March at Rowan University.  It raised nearly $1000 for the American Stroke Association and showed over 100 participants an awesome time. This series of photos should illustrate the good times.

For more information on the Mustache March, take a look at my Mustache March Blog post for the story and some cool links.

Constantine Alexakos asks “Who needs a mustache?”

“Not me!”

The Prof came out to show some serious support

The crowd followed the MM Banner

Raising awareness was an important part of the march

This check was waiting for us inside.  The MM raised about $1000.

Cake, or death…

Redefining “Milk-stache.”

The competitors had to show their stuff.

“She’s a lumberjack and she’s ok…”

Serious man hours went into this crocheted mustache.

Winners of the fake mustache contest.

Then there was the real mustache contest

Even the MC got involved.

Posing for the judges.

Mustache shirts are major brownie points.

The real mustache competition was FIERCE!

Winners of the real mustache competition.

“Do something fun!”

Job well done.

Tha Bearded… Twitter?

February 21, 2012 Leave a comment

Can’t get enough of Tha Bearded Blog? Follow it on twitter @ThabeardedBlog.

Tweet some beard-related stuff and I’ll be sure to re-post!

Yours Truly,
Tha Bearded Blogger

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BRRRRRRRRRRRRD: A Winter-Time Accessory

February 16, 2012 3 comments

Hello All,

One of your fellow readers has brought up a good, seasonal point: beards keep you warm!!!  Considering the weather, though oddly warm for February, now is as good a time as any time to discuss the wind-blocking powers of a beard.

Sure, you could go out and buy a nice scarf, or one of those fleece neck warmers, or even one of those beanies with a beard knitted to it, but the most rugged men have been sporting icicle-ridden beards in frozen planes since the inception of beards… or the inception of cold… you get the idea.

You may not realize this, but a beard can be a versatile tool in battling the cold, though it helps to grow it out pretty long in the winter months.  A longer beard will block wind better than the ever-popular five o’clock shadow or something slightly longer.  Actually, I can’t think of a better example of an ideal beard than good-old St. Nick.  The man flies around in a topless sled at high altitude in cold weather, I’m sure if anyone knows how to stay warm in the wind, it’s this guy.

However, while a beard will protect you from the wind better than a clean shaven face, do not discount the luxury of a nice scarf.  While beard hair by itself will not provide great insulation, but a scarf will definitely augment a beard’s insulating powers. when flying free, a beard will let heat escape, but under a scarf it is almost like another layer, not to mention it will keep your whiskers from freezing to your face. (speaking of… don’t you feel bad-ass when your whiskers freeze?)

One word of caution though, fellas: as it is demonstrated by the photo beneath, you must be pretty diligent about wiping your nose.  That’s one mustache accessory you could probably do without.

Photo Credit: Robert Thomson